I want to live life!

I want to live life. Not to just exist, but to live life fully. As dreamy and zen-like as that statement may be, I find myself repeating it over and over in my head. I have repeated those words so much that it's almost become a mantra. It would seem that if I have this reoccurring theme often enough, it should warrant real estate on my bathroom mirror. It also should warrant positive forward-thinking action. The reality is this is well underway as I watch stagnant behaviour from my past slip into distant memories and life-fulfilling adventures fill my senses.

I find myself with an extreme overflow of thoughts and emotions on the heels of a recent getaway in Northern Ontario, visiting the peace and tranquillity of Manitoulin Island. Nowhere in my core belief do I feel I have denied myself any steps taken towards my ultimate goal of living a full and exciting life. In fact, this current euphoria is the exact emotion or feeling I am looking to invoke in myself. I am filled with the gratitude that I have achieved everything that I feel is necessary to achieve what I set out to do. 

As fulfilling as my current mood is I have to be very aware of the fact that my purpose in life does not end with a singular getaway, on the contrary. I am very conscious of the fact that my current state of intoxication is a piece of the puzzle, albeit a very important one. I have to remind myself that I must join my adventures together to be successful at creating my life, otherwise I will find myself slipping into the doldrums of day to day life. I will be unique in my suffering, just like everybody else.

It is worth noting that I am writing this as I venture down a path of rediscovering myself. That I am completely aware of the fact that as a young man I embraced every molecule that life had to offer. Additionally, I am cognitive of the fact that some point in my life I fell into a void, a deep dark ugly void. My focus will not be on that dark period in my life, where I held myself in a holding pattern. More triumphantly I want my focus to be placed on my rise from that self-imposed darkness and my ability to embrace positive change. I shake my head in disbelief that we can create a black hole in our lifeline but I have chosen to look past that and make up for lost time by a craving to live life, today.


The transformation into living a full life does not happen overnight, it happens with making a choice, a choice to draw a line in the sand and refuse to accept nothing but a full and rewarding life. One of the pitfalls of living in darkness is if given enough power it can become a hungry monster wanting to keep you in the clutch of its darkness. It doesn't end there as it chooses you as it's agent of darkness to recruit others. The key to breaking the cycle of darkness is to refuse to participate, to choose light. That's where my epiphany comes in.

I'm King of the World (Cup and Saucer, Manitoulin Island)

     
It would only be fair to be clear to myself, and perhaps anybody reading this, what my interpretation of living a full life would be. First and foremost I believe that I must be free and clear of stress, that I adamantly am at peace with myself. This will be paramount in advancing, and a must-have foundation to build on. As I move past that I must be curious. This will be one of the most important character traits to open doors to that full life. Once I'm curious doors will appear where they never were before. As part of my toolbox of character traits, I must include gratitude, love, intelligence, growth and self-care. I truly believe that if I create the desire, then follow through with enhancing these character traits, I will be well on my way to living that full life.